Baby Sling Parents – Definitive Guide To Baby Carriers

I went downtown today as we have finally gotten over our colds, mostly  I notice more and more baby sling in the urban setting, and more than that I see radically more daddy baby wearing going on.  It’s not like the dad’s are dressing up in trendy clothing or anything, like you see on the ads on the Baby Bjorn boxes.  Dads are just going out in their weekend garb and wearing their baby.  It’s awesome to see it in Philly, after thinking I could only get away with that when I lived in Charlottesville, VA.  It’s one thing to see guys put together wearing a baby sling, and another to see them wearing their baby like how a dad really wants to look – as if looks don’t matter because it was enough damn trouble getting everyone and everything out of the house.

So, I’m writing with a warning for all you female baby wearers.  Please, do not maneuver your baby out of the sling by having someone pull the baby out upside down while you bend over so far that your shoulders start pointing at the ground.  This causes your shirt to be pulled nearly to the floor and nearby patrons enjoying their meals to get an eyeful of whatever you got going on under that shirt.  Bending down that far so that gravity aids your baby’s release isn’t that safe an idea anyway.  Babies are meant to be lifted up, out of the baby sling – it’s in all the videos.  NO SHAKING THE BABIES OUT OF THE SLINGS!

I don’t take issue at all with anyone breast feeding around town, so I’m getting this message out there so that women don’t end up flashing people by accident using their baby slings.  Today, I saw it coming and put my eyes back on the table, instead of on our son’s face where the background was soon to be all booby, or possibly an infant falling on the floor.  Yikes!

Going to a restaurant during an intense potty training phase is a disgusting idea.  We were on a long road trip back from the in-laws house and needed to stop for dinner.  We held out for our favorite highway eatery, Cracker Barrel.

STOP READING IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH…

As the dad, I took our son into the restroom before we sat down.  After wiping down the potty, I sat him on it and he immediately touched the inside of the rim.  YUCK!  I quickly took defensive measures and positioned my hands in a way that my thumbs severely restricted the movements of his arms.  This prevented him from doing what all toddlers do after touching something gross, touch his face.  Fortunately, he did his potty work quickly and keeping control of his arms, I somehow wiped him up and got him to the sink without him touching himself or me with his disgusting fingers.

I never thought I would do something like this in my life – restrain a little boy’s arms while holding him on the potty and watching and smelling his popo while squatting in a restaurant stall trying not to rub up against anything.  I find that the things you have to go through to raise a child are literally unimaginable until you are in the middle of doing them.  I don’t know what the next thing is that I will find myself shocked to be in the middle of, but I’m sure it’ll be on par with this experience, or even more disgusting.